Morrissey Goes Borrisey

 

Recorded and produced March 2016

Morrissey's mayoral bid was too short-lived to stick around as a news story so despite being written and produced in lightning fast time, this was a column which unfortunately bit the dust. Still, it’s worth a listen so here's a link to it.

Those of you tempted to punch in #Morrisseymayor on Twitter will be greeted with a barrage of terrible mayor-related Smiths puns, which I’m not going to quote here.   Late last week, Morrissey’s semi official site, True To You, announced that the former Smiths singer had ‘been invited’ by the Animal Welfare Party to represent them as London Mayoral candidate.  It’s real phone-in show fodder, the question being ultimately, if Moz does become mayor What Difference Does It Make?

Well, one thing that does link Mozzer to London’s self proclaimed  “pro-alcohol, pro-motorist, pro-hunting” current mayor is absolute conviction to a cause. If Morrissey is going all Borrisey then it’s certainly not about his own glorification. At a recent show at the O2, we waited patiently, like all Morrissey crowds do, for him to play some of the old stuff. When he finally succumbed, he graced us with an extended version of Meat Is Murder accompanied by the most harrowing and disturbing Youtube clips of slaughterhouses.

No, there’s no worry about his sincerity: he means it, man. Check out this sentence from his official comment on the mayoral news: The abattoir is the modern continuation of the Nazi concentration camp, and if you are a part of the milk-drinking population, then you condone systems of torture. 

And I’m not even going to mention what he suggests ‘animal serial killer’ Jamie Oliver should do.

So while it might upset some people, sincerity, belief and conviction from someone with the will get into office is to be welcomed. But Morrissey isn’t the first pop star to feel the itch to represent - or indeed the urge to be mayor.

In 1999, it was former Sex Pistols manager and impresario, Malcolm Mclaren’s turn. He wrote his ‘Vision For London’ in the New Statesman as a first toe-dip in running for London mayor. However after a spot on Question Time in which he answered most questions by gently crowbarring the topic back to himself, his campaign seemed somehow a little, er, vacant.

The political landscapes of other countries are not uncontaminated by pop stars either. Back in 1979, having written his manifesto on the back of a napkin at a gig, Jello Biafra of The Dead Kennedys decided to run for mayor of San Francisco. In the end, the Holiday in Cambodia singer finished fourth out of the ten candidates, winning just under 4% of the vote. It’s a shame because some of his policies  - for example forcing businessmen to wear clown suits within city limits – seemed promising.

Whilst Biafra’s anarchist tendencies may have kept him out of any serious contendership, over in Detroit, Motown stalwart Martha Reeves actually got her hands dirty. In 2005 she was elected to the City Council but quickly found that when it comes to politics – and here I’m afraid I’m going to have to make a pun – there’s Nowhere To Run. In an interview during a UK tour, she foolishly referred to her council position as her ‘second job’; she was off singing Heatwave whilst crucial votes on sewage rate increases were happening back home. Like the song says: don’t forget the Motorcity. In 2009 she got less than 1% of the vote and proclaimed she was glad it was all over.

Let’s hope none of this puts Morrissey off. And while some killjoys are saying anything which can preoccupy him enough to prevent another novel is a good thing, I for one think it he’d make a refreshing change to London. After all, if the man who sang Bigmouth Strikes Again, can inspire more passionate people to represent us, that can only be a good thing.